I know it’s been, I don’t remember. I was indecisive on rather I should post an update. Having trolls follow all of my social media accounts and leaving rebuttal comments to discredit anything I’d said in that particular post. If you read one of my journals, I started to get deep into the trials my husband put me through. I stopped because we’re still going through it. We argued the other night because one of his past skeletons started trolling me. She was the one, leaving rebuttal comments under some of my posts. I’m not going to get too deep into it. I’m still embarrassed and hurt to talk about it. Only a small circle of people knows what I endured, forgiven, and shocked that I’m still standing. I’ve been asking myself that question a lot lately. Especially now that I’m getting older and want to make some drastic career changes, and I know he won’t agree with it. I will end it here, saying you never know anyone’s journey until you walked in their shoes.
The Day at the Spa- July 23, 2020 (extended lunch break)
While arriving at the spa, greeted with a blonde young lady (looks to be in her 20’s), wearing a push-up bra under her all-black polo shirt (that she purposely had unbuttoned low), she also wore a lot of makeup. She had checked our temperatures, hence to see if we had the Flu, oh, I mean the (Rona). I keep forgetting the Flu no longer exists anymore. After that ridiculous step, we were given keys to our lockers to change and then told to wait in a private lounge room after we changed. At that moment, I realized we were going to be in the same place. I nervously changed clothes, feeling like I was getting ready for something very intimate, and debating if I should tell my husband. I quickly got over that thought upon hearing ladies talking outside my locker room. I got changed, and I sauntered to the assigned lounge room. With little beams of sweat on my nose, my heart racing, thinking that I would soon see my boss without his shirt. To my surprise, I didn’t feel guilty despite never cheated. Within the almost 20 years of our on and off relationship/friendship and nearly ten years this November 13, marriage. Aside from a kiss and a little bump and grind in the elevator.
Meanwhile, it was time for our massages, and I’d arrived first. I was greeted by an athletic slim Caucasian man with dark brown hair, and a clean shaved face. He offered to help me unto the table. His hands were smooth but very strong. I was eager for his massage, aside for my husband’s strong massages, thinking I hope he can match his. After lying down, in comes in my boss, who refuses to wear a robe, only a towel. Wow, he looked better without his shirt. His bare chest with a 6-pack leading down to a V waist and very muscular arms, that led down to the outlining of his seemingly very long fat d*ck through his towel. I felt like I was dreaming, I mean, you only see men like this on TV. Heck, even his very athletic, perky breasts, brunette masseuse was checking him out. I guess he’s been working off a lot of sexual frustration during this pandemic.
Oh my, I thought and started to visualize, very kinky things, let me tell you. I do get massages from my husband, who also have strong hands, he works out a lot too. But it’s been a while since I had it done by a professional. He was hitting all the spots mostly around my bra lines and shoulders, whereas he said I was very knotted up (not surprised). My boss, the masseuses, and I chatted about this BS, pandemic (don’t worry, I kept my theory comments to myself), and other random topics. It was excellent and very relaxing. I felt so attractive and surprising, very horny afterward.
After our massages, on my way to my locker, (he’s wearing a robe now) my boss grabs my arm and hastily leads me into his locker room. He then hungrily pins me against the nearest wall while closing the door with one hand and passionately kissing me. I found myself removing his robe, while he squeezed my bottom, I was getting wetter by the second, and feeling like I was hypnotized or drugged. I started to feel something hard against my folds below. I began to grind, while he kissed my neck and proceeded to move lower to my breasts. His hands started going toward my folds, and that’s when I stopped, and quickly pushed him away. He stopped immediately and asked me what was wrong.
I told him while panting, “We cannot do this here.”
He said, while also panting, with an erection that I tried desperately to ignore, “Yeah, you’re right, I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help myself. Seeing you in a robe, with your nipples poking through, and that behind, and those lips, that I was dying to kiss and feel again. Sh*t, I hear you, and if you don’t mind, I’m going to get dressed, because if you keep staring at me like that, I won’t be responsible for my actions.”
I quickly left and got dressed, and we drove back to the office in silence. I knew right then that I needed to distance myself. And I knew who to use as a distraction, because sitting alone never works (always interrupted). I decided to use my skinny tech nerd coworker Jack who always been kind to me, but I regularly brush off. He always wore tan khakis, light blue or white colored dress shirts, artistic ties, and some clear Len glasses. Aside from his 5 o’clock shadow, and curly sandy brown hair, beautiful blue eyes, he wasn’t a bad-looking young man. We had very stimulating conversations whenever we pass each other or sat next to one another during some meetings.
Friday, July 24, 2020
Like clockwork, while Jack was on his way to the printer, he stopped by my desk. After our usual greetings, I asked him to have lunch with me. That made his day, and to my surprise, he had little dimples on his cheeks. He asked if I brought a lunch, I told him I did, and I did. I packed a salad, with a pickle and my favorite chips. Lunchtime came around, and I’d already marked my calendar “I was busy,” so my boss couldn’t schedule anything. Jack and I had a great time, talking about history, his fiancé and 2yr old son, and other random topics. He also answered some tech questions (aside for me also having a computer science degree). We decided to make it a routine to eat lunch together every day at work. (the plan worked)
Meanwhile, I kept seeing my boss walk pass the lunchroom during my breaks every day last week. I manage to avoid him for an entire week. Thankfully due to the tours and out of town visitors, he had to accompany, debrief, and so on. I was glad I didn’t have to attend any of those visits/meetings.
Monday, August 3, 2020
This carried on until Monday, whereas he called me into a meeting inside his office, and he didn’t look pleased. He asked me to sit down, and he gave me updates on the progress of the trainees. He was trying to be professional until he finally looked up from his computer screen and then loosened his tie. Then, sighed and slowly turned his chair around to face me, and leaned forward onto his desk with his hands folded. He then asked me curiously and irritable—
“Why are you cozying up with Jack from IT? Are you trying to make me jealous? Why can’t you socialize with women?”
I said, a little annoyed- “Well, because, he’s kind, and why are you asking me this? You know he’s getting married, heck your invited, so why-” (he interrupts)
“Because I see how he looks at you, he’s attracted to you, and Jack have been engaged forever, he’s not getting married. They rescheduled the wedding several times. Why can’t you eat lunch with women or ME?!” (he raised his voice)
At this point, I was pissed. I mean, my boss acts like my husband, and I hate feeling isolated. I also hate having lunch with women, all they do is gossip, secretly compete, and I cannot trust most of them, especially at work. I always got along with men, despite my history. I said so much to my boss, and that’s when I blurted out with watery eyes and a shaky voice—
“I think I’m starting to fall for you, and it’s making me question my marriage and my life. We need to keep our distance while I sort this out. PLEASE!” (pleading)
He looked at me, with hurt, love, and shock of what I’d just said, “Me too.”
We hugged, kissed each other (a peck), and I returned to work. Yesterday at work, he respected my wishes, but he did buy me a coffee that was waiting on my desk as I arrived. That had “thinking of you” written on the side.
Meanwhile, trolls and skeletons from my husband’s past resurface. I’ve been too busy to notice if he got rid of them. My trust again is now being questioned.