You know these weeks have been life-changing.
I know last my entry was me announcing a business trip. Well, believe It or not, the trip happened, and my boss managed to book our room jointed. We spent the entire two days in meetings, including breakfast meetings, lunch meetings, and dinner meetings.
Monday, August 17, 2020
It was 7 pm, and I was exhausted. I remember staggering back to the room while wearing 5in heels, a tight ass bra, and makeup that I was dying to remove. My boss stayed close to me as he walked me to my door (so overprotective). I began to scan my room card key. I was dying to take a hot shower, and FaceTime my hubby and daughter if she was available while drinking a glass of wine. That all changed when my boss grabbed my waist and pulled me into his erection, and slid my hair to the side, and started kissing the back of my neck. My entire body started to get heated. I slowly turned around, and we started passionately kissing. The rest of the night and the next day became a blur. Despite me glowing and happy, and feeling like a rejuvenated woman the next morning.
Until that last night. Tuesday, August 18, 2020
My boss was sitting at the table in my room with his laptop. We only had one breakfast meeting and presentation. By this time, our rooms became one. He was going through emails, and I was sitting on the bed typing scripts, answering DMs, etc.. I even managed to do a FaceTime with my hubby while my boss was hiding in the room. Our routine felt great, and surprisingly comfortable as if he and I have been married or together for years. He was in his robe sitting on his laptop after our hot and heavy encounters, smiling and happy. I was sore, content, and feeling slightly guilty (surprisingly). Because I still had to face my husband tomorrow.
Anyway, my boss calls me over to read an email, and in this email, It was details about his divorce. I was stunned (he’s getting a divorce). I was taken back, and I nearly dropped my glass of wine.
Thinking; (He’s serious, he wants to end his marriage. I need to think)
At that moment, I gulped up my wine and quickly went over to the bar and poured me another.
So, hun, you’re doing this?” I’d asked while holding my refill glass of wine and standing alongside him while he still sat at the table, roaming through his emails.
“Yes, my sons are both adults, and there isn’t any reason for us to stay married.” He said while taking my glass of wine and begun drinking it
Thinking; (My boss is serious, he’s divorcing his wife. I can’t deal with another relationship. Another controlling relationship!)
I will leave it here but note that I took the rest of the week off at work and avoided my boss ever since.
Meanwhile, back at home—
I was immediately met with questions from my husband. I gave him the rehearsed answers that I prepared. But there was another relationship that was brewing —
An Old Friend with Benefits Addiction
I swear I don’t know what’s gotten into me. Here I am having an affair with my boss, who wants to have more, and I don’t want to get involved in another serious relationship.
Meanwhile, I’m rekindling an old flame (virtual only) that’s becoming addictive. I find myself messaging him constantly. He makes me feel alive, young, and adventurous again, and not so serious and old. I was laughing, cracking jokes, and being humorous; I felt young; it was addictive. We were even getting into debates over stupid things; it felt intoxicating.
I wanted more; I needed to see him. I typed him a letter via messenger. He responded with nothing and disregarded it. I told him that I’d always loved him, and I wanted a divorce. He couldn’t say It back unless I questioned him and cornered him to say it. I felt devastated and rejected.
Thinking to myself-
(Am I too ugly?)
(Am I too fat?)
This addiction and possession lasted for almost a week.
Saturday, August 29, 2020
I’d dropped to my knees and prayed for this cloud of obsession to be lifted. He was consuming my thoughts. I woke up thinking of him and messaging him. My boss noticed that Monday and was starting to suspect and assume I was cheating.
Monday, August 31, 2020
Two more days passed, and I had an epiphany and realized that he didn’t care for me. I also realize that I was not too fond of some of his life values, outlooks on relationships, women, religion, etc. I finally saw him; clearly, the veil had been lifted, and I immediately ghost him and cut communication from him. I despised him and thought he was an egotistical, chauvinistic, and insecure asshole.
That’s when I’d realized that I was in love with who I was when I was with him. NOT HIM, ME, that side of me is well hidden behind being an adult and life responsibilities. I mean, yes, his sex was terrific, and he’s packing (very big, damn!). But aside from that, I wasn’t interested anymore. I saw him for who he was and haven’t looked back since or was tempted too. Thank you, Gods and Goddesses (depending on your religion)
With that said, I still had my boss (what the hell am I going to do?)